Confession

No, I'm not really writing one for you to read, just pondering. I went this weekend, and when I saw who was in the confessional (before I walked in and I could have easily chosen not to do so) I kind of knew what I was in for, as I'd been to him before. This priest strongly believes in monthly confession, and has always chided me if I told him it had been more than a month since my last confession. This time, it had been quite a bit more than a month. He told me to think about the gift the sacrament is and what we are telling Jesus if we fail to use it.

There have been times in my life that I have felt really separated from God due to a sin and it was wonderful to hear "and I absolve you". There have been times that I have strongly resolved to change something that needed changing, and confessing it was one step in the process of changing it. Most of my sins don't fall in those categories. They are the ordinary mundane things that I know I'm going to do again, and that frankly I don't feel all that guilty about doing--they aren't really done with forethought or malice, more on impulse andmost aren't the type of things that I can resolve "never again" and really expect to be successful. I just don't "get anything" out of confessing these things. Yes, I know there is the grace of the sacrament, and I know that the exercise of naming and claiming them, especially if I decide to face the same priest monthly, can help reduce those sins I'm not likely to eliminate, but I'll admit I don't really like going to confession.

I guess "Someone" is trying to tell me something. The passage from today's gospel just crossed my mind:

For everyone who does wicked things hates the lightand does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed.But whoever lives the truth comes to the light, so that his works may be clearly seen as done in God.

Am I preferring keeping the dirt in my life in the dark?